Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Naptime Dream



I decided to take a peaceful little nap on my sofa yesterday when all hell broke loose. In my dream, I was actually on my sofa and my mother, who’s been dead now for over a year, was sitting in a chair across from me. I do not remember what we were talking about when I felt a prick of a pin on my right side. I felt down by my bra strap and there was a safety pin that had opened up and was sticking in me. OUCH! Blood!!! I pulled it out and it became a very sharp, black BIC pen. I remember being worried about blood poisoning? I was bleeding and bleeding. It wouldn’t stop. I’ve never seen so much blood and I certainly don’t ever remember ever dreaming about blood before in my life.



I ran to the bathroom and saw there was a pool of blood on the floor from where I had been bleeding before from my mouth or face. I grabbed a wet washcloth to press against the wound. I was wearing a green shirt and there were blood splatters all over it. The back of the shirt was tie-dyed in bright blues and yellows, reds and white. I kept dabbing the wound with the cloth until it finally stopped bleeding. I looked down and the wound was black and dark red and located right above my armpit. My mother was with me all this time. I do not remember what she was talking about.





Then, as I sat back down on my sofa, I heard men singing. At least 100 barbershop singers walked into my living room and I had to move furniture around to make room for them.



My walls were painted pale pink and it reflected on my furniture making it look pink, especially one chair. Then, the room turned into a ballroom or convention room and there was a horse drawn wagon with barbershop singers sitting on top. I remember thinking of Bob, my ex-husband, because he sang barbershop. My mom was still there and I don’t know if we were talking or if I was thinking… Bob was really nice and it’s too bad it didn’t work out, but he has a hole where his heart should be. A void right in the middle of his chest. End of dream.

When I awoke I had to look around to see if I had painted my walls pink. I expected to see barbershop singers, but of course, there were none. Five years after my twenty-five year marriage ended, I am still analyzing and trying to figure out what went wrong, even in my dreams. Five years have passed and I still do not date. Was this a release dream? The loss of blood and a healing wound?



Was it a poison pen or a sign that I need to write more?

I am visiting my daughter for the holidays and who is coming on the exact day my plane lands in LA? Yes, him! How does this happen? I made my reservations six months ago and he makes plans without even consulting our daughter. It was a surprise to her, also. And so, sharing two children, our paths cross. Through blood we are forever linked, and slowly my wound heals.








This song won't stop playing in my head....

8 ♥ Leave Me A Love Note:

Karen said...

Well this isn't going to help, but I still have dreams of my boyfriend of 25 years ago..and in those dreams is still the real pain of the break-up after those young four years together.

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Oh, Karen! That's just great! LMAO

kobico said...

A lot of equity goes into a relationship of 25 years and two children, so I can see how it would take time to adjust. Women tend to take longer to move on to new relationships after divorce, and it's been speculated that it's because they often find the freedom to discover themselves that they didn't have in the marriage. Maybe you're still exploring?

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...all of the colors you mentioned are the colors in the gay flag.

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Kobico, I have enjoyed my time alone, this is true! But after 5 years I'm thinking I should be ready to just put it to rest. I think this dream was telling me that!

Anon, The colors of the rainbow!! And that of an artist!

kobico said...

Woo hoo, then put those red shoes on and get thee out of the house!

Fire Byrd said...

Got here from Paula's blog.
Love the shoes.
Your dream sounds disturbing, hope it didn't linger around after you'd written it up.

dutchbaby said...

OK, I have this great little book by Betty Bethards called "The Dream Book" (ISBN0-9679790-1-3.
I looked up some of the symbols in your dream:

Mother - Usually represents older, wiser more experienced part of female self...

Pin Cushion - Someone is sticking it to you; you are receiving the brunt of pointed remarks, harmful thoughts or attitudes allowing yourself to be used. Or, you are wishing someone else ill through sharp words, and negative thinking and will only hurt yourself. Need for repair.

Pen - A writing instrument, ability to express yourself and communicate.

Blood - Life force or energy. If you are bleeding you are loosing energy; someone is taking your energy, or you are draining yourself thorugh worry, fear or lack of balance. See what area of body is bleeding.

Colors - Green: Healing, growth
Blue: spirituality
Yellow: peace
White: truth and purity
Red: energy
Pink: love

Singing: Expression of joy, happiness, harmony; healing energy

All in all, I think you had a very good cleansing dream. I think the blog has been a great, constructive outlet for you to vent. Maybe, now with this dream, you can leave the old behind and close a painful chapter in your life.

Heal, my dear, heal. Enjoy your trip!

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